Thanksgiving

I re-read my last post to get ready to write this one. It was evident I tried to get a lot of information into that post, so I’m going to slow down a little here. I still have a lot of news to share, so I will start with two big pieces of news in this post and then share more in a follow-up post in a couple weeks.

We’ll start with the Bain family and our bout with Covid-19. On a world stage, this is very common news. In our house, it was a big ordeal. I had a tiny cough on Monday, September 27, and even took an at home test that day. It came back negative. Of course I later found those tests are known to give false negatives. I only thought to take the test because Eduardo and Elena (married couple who work with us) told me over the weekend that they were feeling symptoms in their house, and didn’t come to work on Monday. I had been in close contact with both of them the previous Friday, so in all likelihood that’s where I got it. Tuesday is when I started to feel sick with a fever and cough. Then Jeruahel woke up early morning Friday with a fever and a tummy ache, and Jessenia followed on Saturday with a fever.

Thankfully, we never needed oxygen or a trip to the hospital, but the spiritual and psychological battle that took place in our house was intense. Jessenia and I were not united on how to manage the virus, and fear was allowed to gain a foothold. It was very difficult to know what to do, since instead of getting one action plan from one doctor, we had a multitude of voices in our ears. One family member who took care of another family member did this. A close friend recommended the doctor that helped them, and he said to do this other thing. Then the pediatrician urged us to get an internal medicine doctor. He said that what the first doctor told us didn’t make sense. Our good friend is a doctor here and he said that neither of them were giving us a good plan. I was losing my mind trying to wade through all this different, conflicting information. I would agree with one of them, Jessenia would agree with a different one. We were getting blood tests taken every 4 days, and the results were sent to all these different doctors, with different reactions from each one. Jeruahel was doing well for a few days, but then we let her get dehydrated and she looked really bad one morning. This was probably what put things over the edge, yet the result also helped bring some level of peace.

Because Jeruahel was dehydrated and refusing to drink liquids, Jessenia wanted to take her to the hospital. That would have resulted in her being completely isolated in a room with 15-20 other Covid patients, adults and children, and neither one of us allowed to be with her. Instead, we paid to have a 24 hour nurse service come to our house. They put an IV in Jeruahel’s hand and got fluids in her that way. A pediatric specialist then came to check on her, and recommended another doctor who came to check on Jessenia and me. This gave us a clear plan for our family. It was expensive and probably way more cautious than necessary, but the result helped calm the storm in our home. We spent 3 full days with 24 hour nurses, and then continued to take care of ourselves at the doctor’s leading. Even in the aftermath the fear of a sudden downturn was imminent. This fear was particularly acute due to our neighbor having spent over a month in the best hospital, nearly dying 3 times of Covid complications, and then needing to return to the hospital several weeks after home recovery. The doctors also told several stories of people who thought they were doing well suddenly discovering they had severe pneumonia as a result of Covid, and it being too late to save their lives. This happened to a pastor we knew, and his 32 year-old son.

All in all, it was extremely stressful, and we are not back to “normal” pandemic status yet. I am glad to say we’re getting better–physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Jessenia and I have had several conversations about the process to bring healing and improve communication. Jeruahel has been completely healthy, and is excited about her kindergarten graduation on Thanksgiving Thursday! Jeremy will also have his sixth grade graduation that day, so it should be a joyous day for us.

Now for the big news from the ministry. Many of you have been following the posts and stories that I’ve been telling about these children and their families for many years now, even all the way back to 2010 when we started the home. Our ministry has seen many children enter the program, only to be pulled away after a time by their parents and neighborhood. All of this loss and struggle has certainly taken its toll on Jessenia and I, and therefore indirectly on Jeruahel. Jessenia has been pushing for a change in strategy for a few years, but I wasn’t on board. With all that has happened in our ministry and family, I’m finally ready to change our approach.

For the 2022 school year, we will continue our mission of seeking the LORD for restoration in these children and their families while the children remain in their own homes. Instead of staying with us during the school year, the children will live at home and participate in our ministry during the day. The logistics are very similar to what we we have been doing. Eduardo will pick the children up for school in the van. After school, he will take them to our ministry center, where we will have tutoring while they do their homework. After 2 hours of tutoring, Eduardo will then take them home. Any work they don’t finish with us will need to be finished at home. If the school requires a meeting with a parent, we will require them to attend. We also plan to meet with the moms on a regular basis and go back to having mini seminars with the help of Adriana, the psychologist who has worked with us since 2012. Our mission will be the same, but instead of trying to accomplish it with the children removed from their environments, we believe it is time for us to work with the families in their environments.

Many factors contributed to the timing of this decision. Our family’s mental, relational, and spiritual health is certainly a major factor. Being responsible for these children 24/7, especially in the lockdown pandemic environment, has been extremely exhausting. The burden turned even more worrisome as we’ve had several incidents that require their parents attention, only to be unable to reach their parents. That burden will be largely lifted as we will only be responsible for what happens during tutoring. It will also free us to spend more time investing in the moms, which was always our strong desire.

Another major factor is the children’s own desire to be with their families. The desire was certainly always there, but it has grown with age. As they’re older, conditions are also more favorable for them to be home. When they were younger, they were more vulnerable to the risks of their neighborhoods and surroundings. Now that they are older, they are equipped to battle against the negative forces seeking to pull them down. We also believe that we have alleviated the moms of too much responsibility in the past. Their lives show evidence of enjoying the freedom of “no children” as opposed to making decisions that will benefit their entire family long-term. We want to work with them to grow in responsibility and self-sacrifice. As we’ve seen, almost all the children have left because their desire to be with their family outweighed their understanding of why they were here in the first place. The teen years continue to require parental love and affection, something I can culturally no longer give them as a man outside their family. They need that affection from their parents so they don’t look for it elsewhere, and their moms need learn to give it to them.

When we told the children and their moms about this change, I expected a mixed bag of emotions from both parties. To my delight, the children were 100% excited. They are ready to be with their moms, and Margine with her brothers as well. (On a side note, we are trying to sponsor her two brothers to attend school with her for next year.) This will be especially good for Margine, who inevitably feels like the odd one out since Bianca, Jeremy and Vanessa are siblings. Francisca (Bianca, Jeremy, Vanessa’s mom) was direct in her response, “It’s my turn now. What choice do I have?” She put a positive foot forward and is grateful that we will continue to sponsor them in school. Alba (Margine’s mom) is excited about the possibility of her two boys going to the same school as Margine, but apprehensive about Margine being exposed to the dangers of her neighborhood. We encouraged her that she needs to be strict with Margine so that she will be obedient even when mom is working and not home. Overall, the highly positive response from everyone was very encouraging to Jessenia and me. It affirmed us that we are making the right decision and the time is right to make this shift.

If there is a negative to the transition, it’s that the house moms will no longer form part of our team. They have given so much to work with us in this ministry for the past 6+ years, and they will be sorely missed. At the same time, I can see that they have been especially worn out by the non-stop nature of the past two years. Their regular time away from the children was mercilessly cut out by the pandemic, and they are tired. So are we. I know they will miss the children, and we will all miss them. The rest of the team will stay in tact, as Eduardo continues to be the bus driver and do-it-all employee, Elisa will continue to tutor the children, and Adriana will provide psychological support to the children and their moms.

To wrap it up, I’ll highlight that we are not changing anything about our mission, just the approach we are taking to accomplish it. I am optimistic about taking the battle for these children into their own homes. We will work together with their moms to help support and equip them to fight for their families. Instead of us striving to instill in them their identity as God’s children, we will encourage and uplift their moms to do so. I’m excited to edify these moms as they take their proper place in their families, pushing them to make Christ the foundation for their lives and families.

More details to come. We do still plan to build a ministry center on the property, and we are hoping to begin soon. We are so thankful for all the prayers and support of so many along the way. We could not have had this ministry home for nearly 12 years without you! We invite you to pray about how you can be part of God’s continuing ministry here in Nicaragua. We will need to raise more funds to complete construction, and we will continue to need funds for salaries and schooling. As we move forward, we see the possibility to reach more families in the future. What a blessing it would be to sponsor the children of girls like Elena and Tatiana who left the home and have since become mothers. We truly can’t know all that God will do through the time we have given Him, and I pray we give more faithfully with each passing day.

Peace be with you! Happy Thanksgiving!